I was fortunate enough to be among the few fortunate teachers in our school system to teach an experimental course to freshman called “Living In the Contemporary World”.
Among the myriad of interesting current events we discussed was energy. We discussed the whole range of energy related topics: fossil fuels, alternative energy, conservation, pollution, costs, global warming, and the environment. I’m not sure what the students learned from our discussions, but here is what I learned from them:
They believe that global warming is happening and it is happening because of the burning of fossil fuels. They believe that through the development of alternative energy sources and through conservation that we can slow and eventually regulate the changing climate. They believe that we can preserve our environment by curbing the use of fossil fuel, cut down on pollution, and generally be a happier, healthier, greener society. And, they believe that we can all make a difference.
I thought this was wonderful. “How wonderful,” I thought. “What wonderful children they are to be so concerned with the world around them, and be so interested in the preservation of our world for future generations.” Isn’t this wonderful? I mean, how could you not think this is wonderful? It really is wonderful, when you think about it.
Then I told them that it would never change.
Of course, they were appalled. How could I say that? Of course it’s going to change! Their generation is going to take control! Their generation is environmentally conscious and dedicated to fighting the cause of global warming!
Then I told them that I had a really wonderful idea on how THEY could help make their wonderful visions become a wonderful reality. And it would be a very simple act that would take absolutely NO effort on their part:
Don’t drive to school.
Yep. You heard me. Don’t drive to school. Lots of them will be turning sixteen years old in the not too distant future, and all they have to do to get the ball rolling is agree to not drive to school when they are so permitted by law.
“Think about it,” I told them. “If you all drive 5 miles per day to get to and from school, and you do this for 180 days per year, and there are 25 of you in this class, that would be 18,750 miles of driving per year. If your cars average around 25 miles per gallon, that would be 750 gallons of gas. So if you all would just take the school bus, which is already provided whether you use it or not, think of what a big step that would be!”
“And,” I continued, “if you could convince the other 500 or so 16, 17, and 18 year olds in the school to do the same, that would save around 18,000 gallons of gas per year, just at this high school alone! AND…if we could get the OTHER 16, 17, and 18 year olds at the other 9 high schools in the county to not drive to school, that would save 180,000 gallons per year, just in our county alone!”
“Now then: how many of you are going to sign an agreement that you will never drive to school, in order to conserve energy, help stop pollution, preserve the environment, and curb climate change?”
Not one hand went up.
“Come on!” I said. “Don’t you want to go green? Don’t you want to be part of securing your own future? All you have to do is not drive where you are already being provided public transportation! Come on! Why don’t you want to make it happen?”
Still no hands.
Why no volunteers?
As it turns out, you see, riding the school bus would be inconvenient. Plus, it’s uncomfortable. And they might have to sit next to someone they didn’t like. Some of them live on a big hill, and they would have to walk up and down the hill to the bus stop which could be dangerous in the winter if it was icy (as opposed to driving a car up and down an icy hill?). And, what if they have to work after school? Riding the bus home would mean they wouldn’t be able to start work until a half an hour later, and their boss might not like that. Plus, they’ve waited all their lives to drive, so why shouldn’t they?
“And that, my dear children, is why it will never change.”
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Fair Trade Coffee in Biodegradable Cups
I just flew in from San Diego...and boy, are my arms tired! (ba-dum-chhhh...)
Anyway, there I was in the San Diego Zoo, and there I was waiting in line for a nice cold beverage, and there I was noticing a nice sign on the snack bar wall, and here is a nice picture of the nice sign:
Isn't that wonderful!!! Yes, I know that is a question and I know that I used exclamation points instead of question marks. But that is because I meant it not as a question, but as an exclamation. Got it? (please don't forget this point...you will need to refer back to it later...)
It was also wonderful that the snack bar had nice tables for people to sit at while they enjoyed a nice hot Fair Trade Coffee in Biodegradable Cups.
While I was sitting there however, I noticed something: no one was drinking any of the Fair Trade Coffee in Biodegradable Cups. Of course! It was two o'clock in the afternoon on a sunny day in southern California! So it would only make sense that people would not make coffee their beverage of choice, even if it was Fair Trade Coffee in Biodegradable Cups. Instead, most people elected the cold beverages, which made for scenes such as this one:
Notice that there are no biodegradable cups in this scene. The cold beverages were served in nice, big, juicy, 100% plastic cups made in the good ol' USA, brought in all the way from West Virginia by tractor trailers burning only the finest refined fossil fuel.
But wait! That's not all! If you happened to have a hankerin' for something neat to eat, you could get that here as well! Yes, that's right! Served in a giant matching plastic bucket! Of course, all these plastics are recyclable, but guess what! (there it is again! Did you remember?)
There were no recycling bins any where near this area! Fortunately, there were plenty of garbage cans strategically placed at the exit areas of the snack bar for your disposing pleasure!
Well, don't feel too bad. We can all take comfort in the fact that if anyone did actually buy Fair Trade Coffee in Biodegradable Cups that it came from a place where the natives won't be growing restless because they are getting screwed out of a fair wage for their labor. And, the cup that comes with the coffee will degrade naturally once the garbage truck, burning only the finest refined fossil fuel, dumps it in the landfill.
Anyway, there I was in the San Diego Zoo, and there I was waiting in line for a nice cold beverage, and there I was noticing a nice sign on the snack bar wall, and here is a nice picture of the nice sign:
Isn't that wonderful!!! Yes, I know that is a question and I know that I used exclamation points instead of question marks. But that is because I meant it not as a question, but as an exclamation. Got it? (please don't forget this point...you will need to refer back to it later...)
It was also wonderful that the snack bar had nice tables for people to sit at while they enjoyed a nice hot Fair Trade Coffee in Biodegradable Cups.
While I was sitting there however, I noticed something: no one was drinking any of the Fair Trade Coffee in Biodegradable Cups. Of course! It was two o'clock in the afternoon on a sunny day in southern California! So it would only make sense that people would not make coffee their beverage of choice, even if it was Fair Trade Coffee in Biodegradable Cups. Instead, most people elected the cold beverages, which made for scenes such as this one:
Notice that there are no biodegradable cups in this scene. The cold beverages were served in nice, big, juicy, 100% plastic cups made in the good ol' USA, brought in all the way from West Virginia by tractor trailers burning only the finest refined fossil fuel.
But wait! That's not all! If you happened to have a hankerin' for something neat to eat, you could get that here as well! Yes, that's right! Served in a giant matching plastic bucket! Of course, all these plastics are recyclable, but guess what! (there it is again! Did you remember?)
There were no recycling bins any where near this area! Fortunately, there were plenty of garbage cans strategically placed at the exit areas of the snack bar for your disposing pleasure!
Well, don't feel too bad. We can all take comfort in the fact that if anyone did actually buy Fair Trade Coffee in Biodegradable Cups that it came from a place where the natives won't be growing restless because they are getting screwed out of a fair wage for their labor. And, the cup that comes with the coffee will degrade naturally once the garbage truck, burning only the finest refined fossil fuel, dumps it in the landfill.
News About News That Is About Nothing
So the Batman movie is taking the world by storm. Speculation has it that part of the reason it has been so successful at the box office is because the Joker bit the dust. Or at least the actor who portrayed him did. Heath Ledger. Or I should say the late or ex-Heath Ledger.
As if the sudden death of a young movie star by a drug overdose isn't enough news, someone in the media had to come up with the idea that the dark nature of his role as the Joker strongly contributed to his demise. Perhaps it was his inability to get out of his character when the camera stopped rolling that promoted his despondence and use of drugs.
OK. Fine. If this was true, then maybe it would be an interesting sidebar. Although it would make me a bit nervous about actors in general. What if the next "Godfather" can't get "out of character" and starts having media people whacked whenever he thinks that they have "disrespected" him, like maybe by accusing him of not being able to get out of character? Could be a problem. On the other hand, it could be a blessing...
At any rate, it doesn't really matter because this whole idea of this actor turning to drugs because his role as the Joker was just way too much for his psyche to handle was made up. It wasn't true. This isn't what happened. Big surprise there, huh?
I know all of this because my wife was watching this show where they were interviewing other actors in the movie about the former Mr. Ledger. They all stated that the idea that his demise was caused by the Joker himself was not true, not possible, crazy, unfounded, etc, etc.
So basically here it is: a show interviewing people about something that was made up asking them if it was true and all of them saying it was made up. The media created the rumor and then had a tv show to dispel the rumor that they made up. Everyone on the show knew the media made it up, but they came on the media's show to tell the world that the media generated rumor was made up.
And I thought that "Seinfeld" was the show that was supposed to be about "nothing".
Seinfeld has nothing on the news.
As if the sudden death of a young movie star by a drug overdose isn't enough news, someone in the media had to come up with the idea that the dark nature of his role as the Joker strongly contributed to his demise. Perhaps it was his inability to get out of his character when the camera stopped rolling that promoted his despondence and use of drugs.
OK. Fine. If this was true, then maybe it would be an interesting sidebar. Although it would make me a bit nervous about actors in general. What if the next "Godfather" can't get "out of character" and starts having media people whacked whenever he thinks that they have "disrespected" him, like maybe by accusing him of not being able to get out of character? Could be a problem. On the other hand, it could be a blessing...
At any rate, it doesn't really matter because this whole idea of this actor turning to drugs because his role as the Joker was just way too much for his psyche to handle was made up. It wasn't true. This isn't what happened. Big surprise there, huh?
I know all of this because my wife was watching this show where they were interviewing other actors in the movie about the former Mr. Ledger. They all stated that the idea that his demise was caused by the Joker himself was not true, not possible, crazy, unfounded, etc, etc.
So basically here it is: a show interviewing people about something that was made up asking them if it was true and all of them saying it was made up. The media created the rumor and then had a tv show to dispel the rumor that they made up. Everyone on the show knew the media made it up, but they came on the media's show to tell the world that the media generated rumor was made up.
And I thought that "Seinfeld" was the show that was supposed to be about "nothing".
Seinfeld has nothing on the news.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Forget Supply and Demand…It’s Bush’s Fault!
Yep, you heard me right. It’s all his fault.
I’m talking about gas prices. If you hadn’t noticed, they are sky high. And all the fault can be directed to one man: George W. Bush.
After all, he’s an “oil man”, right? He’s going to make a bundle off our misery. He can’t wait to see gas hit four bucks a gallon for regular.
Forget supply and demand. This has nothing to do with it, like it does with any other (or for that matter, EVERY other) product. Gas is different. Forget that China and India are in the midst of their own personal industrial revolutions, and consequently have developed a huge need for the stuff, driving demand up. Forget that we have not built an oil refinery in the U.S since 1976, driving supply down. Forget that there are about 70 million more drivers on the road today than in 1976, driving demand up. Forget that in the day of “buck ‘n a half a gallon” gas, cars went from mid-size to full size to bigger than full size, to even bigger than bigger than full size, to Hummer, driving demand up.
None of these things matter when we’re talking about gasoline.
The only thing that matters is Bush.
See, when people want to buy a loaf of bread, they can get it pretty cheap because there is plenty of corn available to make the bread. So, the baker can buy cheap corn, make lots of loaves, and sell them pretty cheap and still make a profit. And corn stays cheap as long as the only thing there is to do with it is make bread, and the only people who want to buy it are bakers.
But when people want to use corn for something else, like say, biofuel, and the biofuel man comes along and he wants all the corn, then he offers the farmer more money for it. Then when the baker needs corn for the bread, he’s got to pay at least as much as the biofuel guy. As the demand goes up, so does the cost. And the baker has to turn around and raise the price of his bread which means you and I have to pay more every time we have a hankerin’ for a PB & J sandwich.
For some reason, though, gas doesn’t work this way. I buy an SUV with double the gas tank size and half the mileage as my old car and the cost of the gas should stay the same, but it doesn’t; it goes up. Why? Because of Bush. A coupla million Chinese people decide they don’t want to bike to work anymore, go out and buy a car, and say “fill’er up!”once a week, and the cost of gas should stay the same, but it doesn’t; it goes up. Why? Because of Bush. People who love trees and flowers and owls don’t want to have to look at those things with an oil refinery in the background don’t let an oil refinery be built for a generation, and the cost of gas should stay the same, but it doesn’t; it goes up. Why? Because of Bush. See? That’s how gas is. It’s not like corn or a loaf of bread. The price of corn goes up with greater demand. Gas doesn’t. The price of gas only goes up because of Bush.
And with corn there is…….heyyyyyy……...wait a second!…….Wait just a gall-dang minute here! Corn is sold by the bushel. The BUSHel!!!
That dirty creep! Enough is enough! NOW I see why my grocery bill has been going up! It’s one thing if he wants me to pay him four bucks a gallon for gas, but I’ll be DAMNED if I’m going to pay him one red cent more for my PB&J sandwich!!!
I’m talking about gas prices. If you hadn’t noticed, they are sky high. And all the fault can be directed to one man: George W. Bush.
After all, he’s an “oil man”, right? He’s going to make a bundle off our misery. He can’t wait to see gas hit four bucks a gallon for regular.
Forget supply and demand. This has nothing to do with it, like it does with any other (or for that matter, EVERY other) product. Gas is different. Forget that China and India are in the midst of their own personal industrial revolutions, and consequently have developed a huge need for the stuff, driving demand up. Forget that we have not built an oil refinery in the U.S since 1976, driving supply down. Forget that there are about 70 million more drivers on the road today than in 1976, driving demand up. Forget that in the day of “buck ‘n a half a gallon” gas, cars went from mid-size to full size to bigger than full size, to even bigger than bigger than full size, to Hummer, driving demand up.
None of these things matter when we’re talking about gasoline.
The only thing that matters is Bush.
See, when people want to buy a loaf of bread, they can get it pretty cheap because there is plenty of corn available to make the bread. So, the baker can buy cheap corn, make lots of loaves, and sell them pretty cheap and still make a profit. And corn stays cheap as long as the only thing there is to do with it is make bread, and the only people who want to buy it are bakers.
But when people want to use corn for something else, like say, biofuel, and the biofuel man comes along and he wants all the corn, then he offers the farmer more money for it. Then when the baker needs corn for the bread, he’s got to pay at least as much as the biofuel guy. As the demand goes up, so does the cost. And the baker has to turn around and raise the price of his bread which means you and I have to pay more every time we have a hankerin’ for a PB & J sandwich.
For some reason, though, gas doesn’t work this way. I buy an SUV with double the gas tank size and half the mileage as my old car and the cost of the gas should stay the same, but it doesn’t; it goes up. Why? Because of Bush. A coupla million Chinese people decide they don’t want to bike to work anymore, go out and buy a car, and say “fill’er up!”once a week, and the cost of gas should stay the same, but it doesn’t; it goes up. Why? Because of Bush. People who love trees and flowers and owls don’t want to have to look at those things with an oil refinery in the background don’t let an oil refinery be built for a generation, and the cost of gas should stay the same, but it doesn’t; it goes up. Why? Because of Bush. See? That’s how gas is. It’s not like corn or a loaf of bread. The price of corn goes up with greater demand. Gas doesn’t. The price of gas only goes up because of Bush.
And with corn there is…….heyyyyyy……...wait a second!…….Wait just a gall-dang minute here! Corn is sold by the bushel. The BUSHel!!!
That dirty creep! Enough is enough! NOW I see why my grocery bill has been going up! It’s one thing if he wants me to pay him four bucks a gallon for gas, but I’ll be DAMNED if I’m going to pay him one red cent more for my PB&J sandwich!!!
Monday, April 14, 2008
Sign of the Times
There is a Catholic school in the area where I live that has a large sign posted on the lawn in front. The sign proclaims:
"This school saved taxpayers Z thousands of dollars last year." (I'm using Z because I don't remember the exact figure.
Of course, being of curious mind, I wanted to find out how this was done. So I gave the school a call and inquired.
"Well, it costs the county Y dollars a year per student. We have X number of students who would have to attend county schools if it weren't for us, so it would cost the county Z thousands more dollars." I thanked the person for the info, and hung up.
I would never send my child to this school, because the people running it have terrible math skills.
Oh, they had the problem correct. The way they figure it, X times Y equals Z. It certainly works out that way.
The problem is that the equation is wrong.
That's because Y (the cost per pupil expenditure) of the public school system is an expression of an average, not an actual dollar cost. The school doesn't get a set sum of money for each student enrolled. They get an operating budget to pay for everything the school system needs, from books, to light bulbs, to salaries for custodians, to replacing the basketball nets when the thugs tear them off and wear them as a fashion statement.
The cost per pupil expenditure is also not a reflection of how much it costs to educate each child. Some kids cost a lot to educate. Some cost next to nothing. We have a school in our system that educates kids that are profoundly disabled, either physically or mentally. Because of the medical and other needs of these students, they can cost the system up to fifty thousand dollars a year to "educate". And if we have a kid in our county whose needs are beyond what the system can provide, we have to pay for him to go to a school that can provide for him, even if that school is in another state. I wonder if this Catholic school would accept any of these children into their care for the same cost they are charging the other students?
On the other hand, when the school I teach at had a kid transfer in from out of state last week, it didn't cost them any more money just because they had one more student. They didn't have to go out and buy extra books, hire a new teacher, or have a new locker installed just for this student, nor did the kid soak up more of the heat or light, causing the electric bill to jump up.
The kids enrolled in this private school come from all over the county, from all different communities. They have less than one hundred kids enrolled. If you closed their school and sent all the kids back to the public school in their home communities, it would amount to about four or five additional students for each county school, and the monetary impact would be negligible.
In short, the amount of money that this private school is saving the county taxpayers wouldn't buy these less than one hundred kids a pack of pencils.
And I thought it was just the PUBLIC schools that were poor at math?
"This school saved taxpayers Z thousands of dollars last year." (I'm using Z because I don't remember the exact figure.
Of course, being of curious mind, I wanted to find out how this was done. So I gave the school a call and inquired.
"Well, it costs the county Y dollars a year per student. We have X number of students who would have to attend county schools if it weren't for us, so it would cost the county Z thousands more dollars." I thanked the person for the info, and hung up.
I would never send my child to this school, because the people running it have terrible math skills.
Oh, they had the problem correct. The way they figure it, X times Y equals Z. It certainly works out that way.
The problem is that the equation is wrong.
That's because Y (the cost per pupil expenditure) of the public school system is an expression of an average, not an actual dollar cost. The school doesn't get a set sum of money for each student enrolled. They get an operating budget to pay for everything the school system needs, from books, to light bulbs, to salaries for custodians, to replacing the basketball nets when the thugs tear them off and wear them as a fashion statement.
The cost per pupil expenditure is also not a reflection of how much it costs to educate each child. Some kids cost a lot to educate. Some cost next to nothing. We have a school in our system that educates kids that are profoundly disabled, either physically or mentally. Because of the medical and other needs of these students, they can cost the system up to fifty thousand dollars a year to "educate". And if we have a kid in our county whose needs are beyond what the system can provide, we have to pay for him to go to a school that can provide for him, even if that school is in another state. I wonder if this Catholic school would accept any of these children into their care for the same cost they are charging the other students?
On the other hand, when the school I teach at had a kid transfer in from out of state last week, it didn't cost them any more money just because they had one more student. They didn't have to go out and buy extra books, hire a new teacher, or have a new locker installed just for this student, nor did the kid soak up more of the heat or light, causing the electric bill to jump up.
The kids enrolled in this private school come from all over the county, from all different communities. They have less than one hundred kids enrolled. If you closed their school and sent all the kids back to the public school in their home communities, it would amount to about four or five additional students for each county school, and the monetary impact would be negligible.
In short, the amount of money that this private school is saving the county taxpayers wouldn't buy these less than one hundred kids a pack of pencils.
And I thought it was just the PUBLIC schools that were poor at math?
Monday, March 17, 2008
Just a Suggestion:
Anyway, I talked to my mom tonight and she said that she had me on several prayer chains. I thought this was really nice of her because we can all use all the help we can get, especially if it doesn’t cost anything and doesn’t require any extra effort on our part.
I don’t want to sound ungrateful to all the people I don’t know who are at this very moment praying for divine intervention in the matter of my sore elbow and the highly trained surgeon (educated solely in the good old US of A, I might add...) who is going to lop off the parts that have now “joined the other team”. But I do have one small suggestion.
Next time, I’d like them to start praying for me BEFORE something goes haywire.
I mean, where were all these people two or three years ago, when my elbow was working just the way God intended it too? Couldn’t they have put me on the chain then? Maybe if they had, I wouldn’t have needed several injections of cortisone, endless nights of ice to ease the pain, and now surgery and an all expense paid trip to Zombia via the Percoset Express.
I have no beef with the prayer chain people, especially since they’ve decided that my elbow was worthy of being brought to the attention of the creator of the universe, as if He (or for all you feminists, SHE) was not already aware of the tendons fraying in my arm at this very moment. But I’d just as soon have them start praying now that evil not find my address as have them pray that it doesn’t stay long when it has already dropped by for a visit.
Again, I appreciate the thought. But would it kill y'all to be a little proactive?
Mars Is Melting
Did you know that the polar ice caps on Mars are melting? Well it's true. Do a Google search on this topic and see what you find. Mars is indeed melting. The polar ice caps are receding, much like they are on Earth. If you read a few of the articles you find on this search, you'll find that scientists generally attribute this phenomenon to solar activity.
However, solar activity is not causing polar ice caps on Earth to melt. Just on Mars.
Apparently, the sun doesn't have the same effect on the Earth as it does on other planets in our solar system. Must be all the water we have here on Earth soaks up all the heat and light and radiation and stuff and keeps all that solar crap from melting the ice on the ol' Big Blue Marble.
Good thing too, because with all the melting that us humanoids are causing, we'd really be (literally) up the creek without a paddle if the sun melted ice on Earth the way it does on Mars. I mean, can you imagine if on top of the melting we cause from burning all kinds of shit that the sun was actually kicking it up a few notches? I mean, the sun is a pretty big dude. I mean, BIG big, you know, like you could fit 1,304,000 Earths inside the sun. That kind of big. And hot too. You combine something this big and hot with a personal grudge and we could be looking at a situation that even ethanol or hybrids couldn't cure.
So every day we can thank our lucky stars (or in this case, our lucky star) that the sun doesn't mess with the Earth the way it does with other planets.
I, for one, am grateful. I'd hate to think that the Earth was being warmed by something we have no control over.
However, solar activity is not causing polar ice caps on Earth to melt. Just on Mars.
Apparently, the sun doesn't have the same effect on the Earth as it does on other planets in our solar system. Must be all the water we have here on Earth soaks up all the heat and light and radiation and stuff and keeps all that solar crap from melting the ice on the ol' Big Blue Marble.
Good thing too, because with all the melting that us humanoids are causing, we'd really be (literally) up the creek without a paddle if the sun melted ice on Earth the way it does on Mars. I mean, can you imagine if on top of the melting we cause from burning all kinds of shit that the sun was actually kicking it up a few notches? I mean, the sun is a pretty big dude. I mean, BIG big, you know, like you could fit 1,304,000 Earths inside the sun. That kind of big. And hot too. You combine something this big and hot with a personal grudge and we could be looking at a situation that even ethanol or hybrids couldn't cure.
So every day we can thank our lucky stars (or in this case, our lucky star) that the sun doesn't mess with the Earth the way it does with other planets.
I, for one, am grateful. I'd hate to think that the Earth was being warmed by something we have no control over.
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