Forget Supply and Demand…It’s Bush’s Fault!

Yep, you heard me right. It’s all his fault.

I’m talking about gas prices. If you hadn’t noticed, they are sky high. And all the fault can be directed to one man: George W. Bush.

After all, he’s an “oil man”, right? He’s going to make a bundle off our misery. He can’t wait to see gas hit four bucks a gallon for regular.

Forget supply and demand. This has nothing to do with it, like it does with any other (or for that matter, EVERY other) product. Gas is different. Forget that China and India are in the midst of their own personal industrial revolutions, and consequently have developed a huge need for the stuff, driving demand up. Forget that we have not built an oil refinery in the U.S since 1976, driving supply down. Forget that there are about 70 million more drivers on the road today than in 1976, driving demand up. Forget that in the day of “buck ‘n a half a gallon” gas, cars went from mid-size to full size to bigger than full size, to even bigger than bigger than full size, to Hummer, driving demand up.
None of these things matter when we’re talking about gasoline.

The only thing that matters is Bush.

See, when people want to buy a loaf of bread, they can get it pretty cheap because there is plenty of corn available to make the bread. So, the baker can buy cheap corn, make lots of loaves, and sell them pretty cheap and still make a profit. And corn stays cheap as long as the only thing there is to do with it is make bread, and the only people who want to buy it are bakers.

But when people want to use corn for something else, like say, biofuel, and the biofuel man comes along and he wants all the corn, then he offers the farmer more money for it. Then when the baker needs corn for the bread, he’s got to pay at least as much as the biofuel guy. As the demand goes up, so does the cost. And the baker has to turn around and raise the price of his bread which means you and I have to pay more every time we have a hankerin’ for a PB & J sandwich.

For some reason, though, gas doesn’t work this way. I buy an SUV with double the gas tank size and half the mileage as my old car and the cost of the gas should stay the same, but it doesn’t; it goes up. Why? Because of Bush. A coupla million Chinese people decide they don’t want to bike to work anymore, go out and buy a car, and say “fill’er up!”once a week, and the cost of gas should stay the same, but it doesn’t; it goes up. Why? Because of Bush. People who love trees and flowers and owls don’t want to have to look at those things with an oil refinery in the background don’t let an oil refinery be built for a generation, and the cost of gas should stay the same, but it doesn’t; it goes up. Why? Because of Bush. See? That’s how gas is. It’s not like corn or a loaf of bread. The price of corn goes up with greater demand. Gas doesn’t. The price of gas only goes up because of Bush.

And with corn there is…….heyyyyyy……...wait a second!…….Wait just a gall-dang minute here! Corn is sold by the bushel. The BUSHel!!!

That dirty creep! Enough is enough! NOW I see why my grocery bill has been going up! It’s one thing if he wants me to pay him four bucks a gallon for gas, but I’ll be DAMNED if I’m going to pay him one red cent more for my PB&J sandwich!!!